Pimplomat

Changes

2007-06-11T12:57:00.000-07:00

I've moved over to Word Press. Anyone linking to me, please update the directing URL to www.pimplomat.com. Thank you!

Back. Thank you Walt Whitman.

2007-06-11T11:49:00.000-07:00

NPM: "The Calendar Hung Itself" by Conor Oberst

2007-04-12T12:48:00.000-07:00

One of the ways to get people to buy actual CDs again is to create a unique package that the buyer is unable to recreate on his or her own home computer.

Even though I already have the latest Bright Eyes album through "illegal" downloading, I'm still going to purchase the CD. Not because of any guilt or moral beliefs, but because of the awesome album artwork.

"The Calendar Hung Itself"
by Conor Oberst

Does he kiss your eyelids in the morning when you start to raise your head?
And does he sing to you incessantly from the space between your bed and wall?
Does he walk around all day at school with his feet inside your shoes?
Looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you.
Does he know that place below your neck that is your favorite to be touched
and does he cry through broken sentences like I love you far too much?
Does he lay awake listening to your breath?
Worried that you smoke too many cigarettes.
Is he coughing now on a bathroom floor?
For every speck of tile there's a thousand more
you won't ever see but most hold inside yourself eternally

Well, I drug your ghost across the country and we plotted out my death.
In every city, memories would whisper: "Here is where you rest."
I was determined in Chicago but I dug my teeth into my knees
and I settled for a telephone and sang into your machine.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

I kissed a girl with a broken jaw that her father gave to her.
She had eyes bright enough to burn me. They reminded me of yours.
In a story told she was a little girl in a red-rouge,
sun-bruised field and there were rows of ripe tomatoes where a secret was concealed.
And it rose like thunder, clapped under our hands.
And it stretched for centuries to a diary entry's end where I wrote,
You make me happy oh!! when skies are gray
You make me happy oh!! when skies are gray and gray and gray.

Well the clock's heart it hangs inside its open chest with its hands
stretched towards the calendar hanging itself but I will not weep for those dying days.
For all the ones who have left there are a few that stayed.
And they found me here and pulled me from the grass where I was laid.

NPM: "Rain" by Jack Gilbert

2007-04-09T14:20:00.000-07:00

"Rain"
by Jack Gilbert

Suddenly this defeat.
This rain.
The blues gone gray
And the browns gone gray
And yellow
A terrible amber.
In the cold streets
Your warm body.
In whatever room
Your warm body.
Among all the people
Your absence
The people who are always
Not you.
I have been easy with trees
Too long.
Too familiar with mountains.
Joy has been a habit.
Now
Suddenly
This rain.

NPM: Sonnet 4 by William Shakespeare

2007-04-05T11:09:00.000-07:00

I'm writing a play, a verse drama. It's true. I plan on finishing it by the end of April, then using the whole month of May to revise it. By June, it will be ready for production. I'm serious about this.

Sonnet 4
by William Shakespeare

Unthrifty loveliness, why dost thou spend
Upon thy self thy beauty's legacy?
Nature's bequest gives nothing, but doth lend,
And being frank she lends to those are free.
Then, beauteous niggard why dost thou abuse,
The bounteous largess given thee to give?
Profitless usurer, why dost thou use
So great a sum of sums yet canst not live?
For having traffic with thyself alone,
Thou of thyself thy sweet self dost deceive.
Then how when nature calls thee to be gone,
What acceptable audit canst thou leave?
Thy unused beauty must be tombed with thee,
Which usèd, lives th' executor to be.

NPM: "Nude as the News" by Cat Power

2007-04-04T13:14:00.000-07:00

I predict this will be the biggest fashion trend of 2007: Nude Suits. Stop letting your friends and co-workers imagine you naked and just give them what they want. This year is the year of total exposure. For realz.

"Nude as the News"
by Cat Power

I still have a flame gun
For the cute cute cute ones

And I saw your hand
With a loose grip
On a tight ship

I still have a flame gun
For the cute ones
To burn out all your tricks
And I saw your hand
With a loose grip
On a very tight ship

And I know
That in the cold light
There's a very big man
There's a very big man
Leading us into
Temptation

Jackson, Jesse, I've got a son in me
Jackson, Jesse, I'vee got a son in me

And he's related to you
He's related to you
He is waiting to meet you

He's related to you
He's related to you
He is dying to meet you

Backhand, role reversal
Where is someone
Backhand, reversable roles
I know there's someone

I still have a flame gun
For the cute ones
To burn out all your tricks
And I saw your hand
With a loose grip
On such a tight ship

And I know that in the cold light
Is a very big man
Leading us into
Temptation

Jackson, Jesse, I've got a son in me
Jackson, Jesse, I've got the son in me

And he's related to you
He's related to you
He is waiting to meet you

He's related to you
He's related to you
He is dying to meet you

He's related to you, he's related to you
He's related to you, he's nude as the news

Nude as the news, nude as the news, nude as the news
All over, all over, all over, all over, all over, all over, all over you

NPM: "New York" by Valzhyna Mort

2007-04-03T13:02:00.000-07:00

"New York"
by Valzhyna Mort

new york, madame,
is a monument to a city

it is
TA-DA
a gigantic pike
whose scales
bristled up stunned

and what used to be just smoke
found a fire that gave it birth

champagne foam
melted into metal
glass rivers
flowing upwards
and things you won't tell to a priest
you reveal to a cabdriver

even time is sold out
when to the public's "wow" and "shhh"
out of a black top hat
a tailed magician
is pulling new york out
by the ears of skyscrapers

Translated from the Belarusian by Franz Wright & Elizabeth Oehlkers Wright

Bringing poetry back

2007-04-02T13:42:00.000-07:00

So, this girl the other night was talking about how she hooked up (you know, slang for had sex) with Justin Timberlake in Arizona a few weeks ago and had to sign papers saying she wouldn't go to press or sue or something like that, but there's something more important than celebrity/local gossip, and that's National Poetry Month.

It's that time of year, when you all get your daily (except weekends) dose of poetry bliss. Hang on kids, because you're about to hook up with some powerful poems. I hope you brought protection.

"This Be the Verse"
by Philip Larkin

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

Sure, this poem is Larkin 101, but I thought I start easy on you, let you get comfortable with the groove, before it starts getting rough. Pleasurably rough.

Even the New York Times has typos

2007-03-26T08:02:00.000-07:00

"... there are mansions almost as fine as any on Dallas’s tony Swift Avenue ..."

That would be Swiss Avenue, Ms. Swartz.

Dallas Does Dallas

Half read

2007-03-22T11:46:00.000-07:00

For the longest time, I've felt guilty for not reading certain books considered classics or starting books and never finishing them. According to Lennard J. Davis' article in The Chronicle of Higher Education, I shouldn't feel this way.

In Davis' well-written and short piece, he really caught my attention with these lines:

I like to read four or five books at once. It's like being at a horse race--only one or two of the books might win. I don't feel committed to finishing every book I start, and, in a way, isn't it the writer's fault if I'm not pulled along? I'm an inveterate book buyer, but like many collectors I don't always think the proof of the pudding is in the reading. I've got some beautiful volumes that I will probably never read.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Literary headlines

2007-03-15T13:51:00.000-07:00

Blooker prize honours best blogs

Book on women's sex 'hookups' draws fire

Literary Feud! NYTBR Smacks Up The New Yorker On...Poetry

Red light campaigns

2007-03-06T09:47:00.000-08:00

Sex sells, and now tourism bureaus are embracing the ages-old marketing concept.

Two examples:

The Downtown Dallas Association "Where's Your D Spot?" campaign, and the Tourism Victoria (Canada) "Your Search For The Perfect Orgasm Is Over" ad. Apparently, the Victoria ad is to market their quality food & beverage offerings.

Yes, food is exactly what I think of when I see the word orgasm. Okay...maybe I do think of food...steak...pie...

Cops with nothing better to do, Part XVI

2007-03-05T07:05:00.000-08:00

A lot of my friends know how much I hate police officers that stand on the side of the road with their radar guns, seeking to pull someone over in order to up their ticket quotas for the month. Cops who participate in this practice are a bunch of pussies. If they were real cops, they'd drive around in their cars or on their motorcycles and pull people over that way. Standing out in the middle of the road and waving down motorists who they think they caught on their radar guns is shameful and sickening.

But now, police have another way of getting money from everyday citizens who are just trying to get to work, their kids to school, or picking up food for dinner. I'm talking about the obscured license plate law.

Though it's been on the books for years, the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals recently upheld the law, and now, you law-abiding citizens that have license plate frames around your back plate can get pulled over and ticketed.

Here's the story in the Dallas Morning News.

As my co-worker said, "Thank god they’re cracking down on this because that must mean that all the drug dealers and murderers have been caught."

Fellow Texans, if you disagree with this law please visit Texas Legislature Online, locate who represents you, and write her or him. Let your voice be heard. Remember, there are more of us than there are of cops.

Headline of the week

2007-02-28T08:36:00.000-08:00

Long-time fishing buddies get down to business with S&M Tool

Bilk

2007-02-13T16:19:00.000-08:00

Making beer better for you day by day.

Liquor shop churns out beer from milk

Oh yeah, I'm still in Australia at AIME 2007. Melbourne is a cool city. I haven't had a lot of time to explore it much, but I will on Friday and Saturday. There's a place here called The Dallas Bar. I may just have to check it out.

By the way, Australians love their wine. I've had about a gallon poured down my throat in 3 days. I'm not complaining though. Good times.

The Holy Trinity of Posts

2007-02-08T08:07:00.000-08:00

1) I recently visited Los Angeles for the first time. While I enjoyed Venice (not the beach), Santa Monica, and Pasadena, I was disappointed in the the traffic issues in L.A. I know that that's probably a common complaint. Seriously, though, with as much money that is in that city and as much as people there care about clean air and a better environment, can't someone get the ball rolling on a better transportation infrastructure?

And don't get me started on the service industry (e.g., wait staff). For years, I've heard that Dallas is like L.A., only smaller. I disagree. Dallas is like L.A., only nicer.

Still, the people the plus one and I hung out with were great and very hospitable. I'd go back again, and this time I won't have any illusions about it.

2) Calla comes out with their new album on 20 February, and I'm excited. With every new release they expand and push themselves creatively, as any important artist should. Check out their first single, "Bronson," available on their Web site.

3) I leave for Melbourne, Australia, tomorrow for a work trip. If you're nice to me, I may bring you back a magnet. Or a kangaroo.

My name is Pimplomat, and I neglect my blog

2007-01-31T13:55:00.000-08:00

There's a person with the same first name as Long Division who reminded me the other night that I haven't been updating my blog. She spoke the truth, as you can tell.

When I get back from my upcoming trip that starts tomorrow, I'll get back on the daily posting wagon.

Handshake? Good.

Ain't talking 'bout love

2007-01-16T16:20:00.000-08:00

When did Eddie Van Halen start composing porn film music?

From the recent AVN Awards (propably dont' want to look at that site at work, unless you get to work from home, you lucky bastard):

Best Music - Sacred Sin (Ninn Worx), Eddie Van Halen and Loren Alexander

Oh, here is the story.

Eddie, you've just upped your cool factor by one.

Scattershot

2007-01-16T07:47:00.000-08:00

Some stories for discussion, if you wish, all from The New York Times.

Fifty-one Percent of Women Are Now Living Without Spouse

A New, More Accessible T. S. Eliot

The Voices in My Head Say 'Buy It!' Why Argue?

I want to be a master

2007-01-05T13:08:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again when I start thinking of getting my master of arts degree in English.

Since I work full time, I'd love to find one that can be completed online. I've searched and searched, and I've come up with one program. At Morehead State University in Kentucky. Online gradute program in English.

This looks to be a pretty good program, but what I want to know is why is there only one? It seems like English would be very easy to teach online. Nowadays, people can get upper level degrees in business, engineering and nursing. NURSING! Surely, teaching English has to be easier than teaching nursing online.

If anyone knows of more online graduate English programs out there, please let me know.

I've already taken the first step and purchased a GRE for Dummies book.

Thrown a bone

2007-01-04T10:28:00.000-08:00

Geoff Johnston gave my band some recognition in this week's Dallas Observer. He names us as one of five local bands to look forward to in 2007 in his article, 5 x 2 = 10.

Being up front: I know Geoff. I've known him for almost 10 years. He started writing for the Observer last year and he had a personal rule that he wouldn't write about his friends' bands. I think it's a good rule; still, it's nice to see him relent a little and do the same thing other writers at that paper have been practicing for years.

Here's what he wrote.

Ashburne Glen

Full disclosure: Awhile back we used to work at the Borders on Lovers Lane and Greenville Avenue with Jason Hensel, who until recently was the sole driving force behind mope-folk band Ashburne Glen. He swears up and down that it's not a solo or singer-songwriter project, but that gloomy blend of Joy Division and Elliott Smith (with requisite minor-chord atmosphere and faux Brit accenting to match, natch) is pure Hensel. For years Ashburne Glen struggled with varying lineups and juggled various players, until a core unit finally materialized in 2006. Roommate/drummer Eric Grubbs and bassist Joshua Warr (Blackheart Society) brought fistfuls of thunder to accompany the blistering fretwork of Lance Pilgrim, singer-songwriter/guitarist for the Shapes and longtime OG ("Original Glenster"). Hensel may have had to relinquish some of the Glen's more frail and dainty qualities, but in return he gets to front a pretty slammin' rock outfit that's starting to build some substantial steam.

I reached my goal

2006-12-29T10:56:00.000-08:00

Around March, I decided to read a book a week this year. I'm happy to report that I've reached that goal and even went over by one (maybe two if I finish Jack Kerouac's The Dharma Bums by Sunday, which is totally possible).

Here is the list of books I read this past year.

13: A Journey Into the Number by Jonathan Cott
A History of the the World in Six Glasses by Tom Standage
A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Averno by Louise Gluck
Biginning with O by Olga Broumas
Black Zodiac by Charles Wright
Break, Blow, Burn by Camille Paglia
Constance by Jane Kenyon
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
Diving Into the Wreck by Adrienne Rich
Geek Love by Katherine Dunn
Gilgamesh by Stephen Mitchell (translator)
Hapax by A.E. Stallings
Jacklight by Louise Erdrich
Kicking the Leaves by Donald Hall
Late Wife by Claudia Emerson
Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Mercy by Lucille Clifton
Notable American Women by Ben Marcus
Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
Regarding Wave by Gary Snyder
Rhyme's Reason by John Hollander
Saturday by Ian McEwan
Silk by Alessandro Baricco
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Songs of Experience by William Blake
Songs of Innocence by William Blake
Stars Which See, Stars Which Do Not See by Marvin Bell
Surviving the Moment of Impact by T. Cole Rachel
Swithering by Robin Robertson
The Apple that Astonished Paris by Billy Collins
The Art of Writing: Lu Chi's Wen Fu by Lu Chi (translated by Sam Hamill)
The Baby Jesus Butt Plug by Carlton Mellick III
The Coma by Alex Garland
The Death of Ahasuerus by Par Lagerkvist
The Driver's Seat by Muriel Spark
The Dumb Waiter by Harold Pinter
The Final Solution by Michael Chabon
The Game by Neil Strauss
The It-Doesn't-Matter-Suit by Sylvia Plath
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
The Misanthrope by Moliere
The Night Abraham Called to the Stars by Robert Bly
The Odyssey by Homer
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
The Shape of Things by Neil LaBute
The Way Water Moves by John Brehm
The Whitsun Weddings by Philip Larkin
Two Trees by Ellen Bryant Voigt
Walking to Sleep by Richard Wilbur
What's the Matter with Kansas? by Thomas Frank
Without Blood by Alessandro Baricco

Top Rop/Pop Songs of 2006

2006-12-15T09:59:00.000-08:00

I know it's been awhile since I rapped with y'all, so to make up for my silence, I offer you my favorite rock/pop songs of 2006. I'll make a CD-R of this collection, and if anyone would like a copy, please feel free to contact me via the comments section.

I originally had some songs on here that I thought were from 2006, but in fact, were from 2005. I must have heard them in late 2005 and thought they were from this year.

This list, though, is all 2006 and in no particular order (and it won't be the order on the CD either).

"Did I Step on Your Trumpet?" by Danielson
"Loaded" by The Idle Hands
"Sea Foam" by Land of Talk
"Roscoe" by Midlake
"Prenzlauerberg" by Beirut
"The Wonder" by Figurines
"Van Helsing Boombox" by Man Man
"Furry Animal Furry" by Serenaide
"The Idea of Growing Old" by The Features
"Advice for Young Mothers to Be" by The Veils
"Sister Winter" by Sufjan Stevens
"Dog Problems" by The Format
"Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake
"Whoo! Alright - Yeah ... Uh Huh" by The Rapture
"Young Folks" by Peter Bjorn and John
"Ain't It Strange" by Dr. Dog
"Piano Man" Ghostland Observatory
"Rod Stewart" The Lovely Features

Bogus Burroughs?

2006-12-06T13:40:00.000-08:00

I'm constantely fascinated by the unveiling of fake authors and/or stories. This past year has uncovered such fakes as J.T. LeRoy, Nasdijj, and James Frey.

Now, it appears that extremely popular author Augusten Burroughs is a fraud as well. If this accusation turns out to be true, will the book industry throw a sheet over the whole "memoir as a first book" practice? I surely hope so.

Scissors author accused as a fraud
By Carol Beggy & Mark Shanahan, Boston Globe Staff | December 5, 2006

Sure, A Million Little Pieces author James Frey is a fraud, but Augusten Burroughs is an even bigger phony. So says Buzz Bissinger, who blasts the best-selling author of Running With Scissors as a complete impostor in the new issue of Vanity Fair.

"I don't know how [Burroughs] lives with himself," Bissinger told us yesterday. "Running With Scissors contains little strands of fact that were wildly embellished, and if you take those away, you don't have much of a book."

Bissinger's story, on newsstands next week, includes interviews with the Turcottes, the real-life western Massachusetts clan with whom Burroughs lived as a teen and who are characterized as more than kooky in the book. The family, which is suing Burroughs for defamation, claims he fabricated much of the memoir. (Burroughs has denied that, but wouldn't talk to Bissinger about the suit.) Theresa Turcotte says her family debated whether to sue Burroughs.

"If you're Clint Eastwood or Barbra Streisand or somebody else, you can just intimidate the [expletive] out of [a publisher]," she says. "But when you're us, what are we going to do . . . go over and say, 'You know, you hurt our feelings?'"

Bissinger, who wrote Friday Night Lights, believes Burroughs betrayed the Turcotte family.

"They took him in and did their best, and he turned around and wrote about them in the most vile way possible," he said. "It's totally gratuitous."

Blast from the past (a long entry)

2006-12-05T14:24:00.000-08:00

Digging around some CDs last night, I came across a burned data CD full of Word documents from a few years ago. One of the documents was a short piece I wrote for the literary magazine I used to edit. This piece is probably more interesting for those who like and follow poetry. As I'm starting to get back into writing and submitting, this blast from the past shows me that I still hold onto the same basic beliefs concerning the poetic arts.

Here is my short "Editor's Note" from Mind Purge in 1999.

The Calm at Century's Close

The poets I lean toward are accessible and free from academic anchors. However, let us not confuse the term accessible with the word simple. I do not believe that poetry has to be dumbed-down in order to be graspable and relevant to the general public.

Majorities of people, including the poetry-reading public, feel that poetry is work. They believe a poem has to have a set meaning, has to have something deeper than what is on the surface. To them, poems are an either/or situation. They fail to realize that poetry, specifically great poetry, is both an inward and outward experience.

There are many times I read a poem without an understanding of its core meaning. Still, that does not distract me from the beauty of the surface. Great poets create poems beautiful at all levels. Bad poets are ones who push you in the water like a bully, forcing you to fight your way through their setup.

We are now, at the century's close, at a bypass. It is a pleasant area where readers can experience the many schools of poetry with a single poet, sometimes within a single poem. The most remarkable poets today are not bullyish, but are not lax, either. They nudge, but never push. They tempt, but never coerce. They are as happy to have a poem "to be," as much as they are to have it "to mean."

This acknowledgment of the formal roots of poetry by the envelope-pushing poets and the recognition of free verse and experimental poetry by the traditionalists creates a peaceful tranquility.

But what happens after all have shaken hands and agreed to respect and learn from one another? Nothing happens. Nothing happens unless action is taken.

In the past few years, poets have banded together to promote poetry and its benefits. And this crusade has worked, I'm happy to report. But let us not become complacent in our success. If that happens, then we lose all that we have gained.

And this is a where we can learn a lesson from foreign poetry. A majority of foreign poets refuse to let themselves and their readers become comfortable. I believe that some American poets are happy in their sedative ways. Too bad these same poets are the ones in charge of what the public reads.

Thanks to the efforts of people such as Robert Pinsky and the adoption of a National Poetry Month, poetry is in an exciting time now. All schools of poetry have come together to promote poetry, and the playing field is pretty much even. But art is never static. After the changeover to a new century, there will be, there must be, a new wave of barrier-breaking poets to challenge the calmness of today's verse. This is a good thing, for poetry needs a constant shift of ideologies if it is to make an impression on the general public.

The following poets are, in my opinion, exciting and accessible on many levels. Some may not be "up-and-coming," but what they write about, and how they write, are great indicators of where poetry may be heading in the future.

A. E. Stallings

Stallings is a classical poet. Not classical in the sense of "out-dated, old farts, writing verse only their friends would understand," but classical in a sense of clean, well-written, accessible poems that acknowledge both formality and free verse. If we must label, then she would be called an "Expansive poet." Reading her poems, one gains an understanding that Stallings knows her craft well, and that she knows exactly what she wants to say to a reader. She never belittles the reader with erudite terms; however, she never lowers herself to commonality. She reminds us about choice and its many branches of conclusion.

Ryan G. Van Cleave

Van Cleave is wonderful at writing about the nuances of life. Many times, he amazes me with the surface tensions in his poetry. What we can experience from his verse is the universal feeling of want, need, and acceptance. His subjects say, "I may be a (insert adjective here) person, but I need you to accept me." Van Cleave mainly writes in free verse with a conversational tone, which brings the reader closer to the subject at hand. It is this closeness that Van Cleave wants a reader to experience.

Wayne Hogan

Hogan surveys life in a way that Charles Simic does. Sometimes his verse is light, sometimes experimental, but never boring. Hogan will play with words and lines in a poem, challenging the reader to keep up. But ultimately, he wants the reader to relax, and let the poem, through a slanted eye, show life. When he is not stretching the limits of a poem or the reader, his verse tends to be calm, authoritative, and objective. Hogan is like a documentary filmmaker whose subjects sometimes call for a fun presentation and sometimes for unobtrusive documenting.

Christopher Brisson

Brisson is a poet who likes to mix pop culture, childhood memories, and fantasy into a mixed stew of verse. His writing is important in that it shows us how much pop culture actually influences our life and how much we acknowledge it. His insight on the subject of influence is fresh, funny, and thought inspiring.

Isabel Nathaniel

Nathaniel's poems are powerful because of the calm and unobtrusive way she lets her reader discover elements and ideas. Her verse can be described as graceful, confident, and autobiographical, but not confessional. She urges the reader to see life and beauty in all situations.

Tony Hoagland

Hoagland brings spice to poetry by cleverly writing about the complexities of life and how mankind handles them. Much like Christopher Brisson, he draws on pop culture around him, showing us the benefits of loss, and sometimes the curse of triumph.

Ron Koertge

Using humor to lure you in, Koertge will then wallop you with verse that is powerful and honest. The various images he uses to convey his ideas about humanity, in all its forms, can be both fantastical and ordinary. With a great eye for the hidden in all, Koertge guides the reader to look into something and observe what is essentially a beautiful, funny thing.

Dionisio D. Martinez

With intelligent verse, Martinez chronicles the subjects of alienation and cultural identity. He is aware of history, and he uses the past as a way to understand what is happening now. Martinez's unique voice is no less universal in that all have at one time sensed separation from the world around them and tried to understand the feeling, sometimes failing.

Jack Myers

Like Dionisio D. Martinez, Myers' is concerned with the past, and like Koertge, he uses humor to draw the reader into the poem. Some general themes of his are the return to childhood, fear of old age, knowing too much, and simplicity. He knows what he wants to say, and when to quit saying it. Sometimes, he can be surreal, but often his poetry is straightforward.

Hugh Steinberg

Though I have only read a few poems of his in various publications, I find myself impressed with his unique voice and images. From what I have read, he appears to be another poet who is trying to identify the present by defining the past. He is definitely someone to keep an eye on in the future.

I am a purchaser of fine art

2006-12-04T13:02:00.000-08:00

On Friday, the Plus One and I attended Art Conspiracy II, an event organized to raise money for charity by auctioning off art from some of North Texas' best and up-and-coming artists.

As mentioned before on this blog, I'm a huge fan of Jennifer Morgan's art. Last year, I was outbid for her Art Conspiracy entry. This year, I was determined to win one of her pieces. And win I did. It wasn't easy (thanks to the lady who kept one-upping me) and it wasn't cheap (thanks again to the same lady who kept upping the price), but I'm happy with my purchase. Maybe I'll becoming an art collector instead of book collector now.

Here's what I bought:

Yeah, I know I dropped the ball

2006-12-01T12:53:00.000-08:00

Blogging ... it just wasn't in me this past week. Yes, there were plenty of subjects I could have addressed, such as how I've become severely disillusioned with organized religion and how I feel it's the sole cause of most of the world's conflicts, or I could have discussed how I'm growing exceedingly frustrated with people who get upset about individual words, about how they can say certain words but other people are not allowed to use those words because that is wrong and makes you a racist or bigot or (fill in the blank here)--give me a break, people, they're just words. (Yes, I know this puts me in a bind, since I'm also a believer in the power of words; maybe I'm still on this fence about this subject.)

Instead, I rather just stare at this for hours and smile (click on picture).

The Idle Hands

2006-11-20T14:43:00.000-08:00

Since I've taken a break from reading several music blogs a day, I've found myself more relaxed and happier with music. I still read some music blogs (mainly local ones), but not having to keep up with every new, up-and-coming band has done wonders in lowering my creative stress. And it was a relief the other night to actually discover a band the old fashioned way, via the radio.

Josh from the Adventure Club played a song from Minneapolis-based band The Idle Hands. What interested me at first about the song "Loaded" was its early 1980s retro feel, making me immediately think of the Plimsouls. I'm not certain I still want to compare them to the Plimsouls, but they definitely capture the early 80s sound in the four songs I've heard on their Web site. Since I'm big fan of that era of music, it's no wonder I'm drawn to this band, hoping they make several new fans in the upcoming year.

Here's the video for "Loaded." This song will definitely be on my "Top 10 Songs of 2006" list.

New York Nights

2006-11-20T13:48:00.000-08:00

The Plus One and I visited our friends T. Cole Rachel and Long Division this past weekend. And of course, all the usual hijinks ensued. Witness:

We attended a V magazine party where everyone was bathed in red light.

We saw Michael Jackson perform. I'm digging his new look.

And we partied in a famous author's pad, writing plays, drinking 40s and watching Degrassi.

Cole has more--and much better--pictures of our trip, and you can find them clicking on this word: iced.

Scattershot

2006-11-15T13:22:00.000-08:00

I've been doing a lot of these scattershot entries lately. It's probably because of the adult ADD in me. Oh well.

Sam M. gets to the bottom about the Trees reopening. His local music site is becoming of my few daily must-reads. Link on the side added.
Our show the other night at Hailey's in Denton opening for Pony Up! and Tilly and the Wall went really well. It was the largest crowd we've ever played to, we sold several CDs and my dad finally got to see me play live.
For the next installment of "Long Division and I Tear Up New York" this weekend, we'll have special guest stars: the Plus One and T. Cole Rachel, one of her bestest friends. I believe we're all going to party with celebrities on Friday. More to come.

I don't hunt,

2006-11-14T12:54:00.000-08:00

but if I did, I'd totally use Season Shot.

"Season Shot is made of tightly packed seasoning bound by a fully biodegradable food product. The seasoning is actually injected into the bird on impact seasoning the meat from the inside out. When the bird is cooked the seasoning pellets melt into the meat spreading the flavor to the entire bird. Forget worrying about shot breaking your teeth and start wondering about which flavor shot to use!"

Kind of makes you proud to be a human, doesn't it?

What's this about permission?

2006-11-09T08:45:00.000-08:00

Edward Hasbrouck, the Practical Nomad, recently wrote about travel restrictions as proposed by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security.

So, I started investigating (which nowadays means I started Googling), and I came across this news piece and this story.

I'm not going to publish all the findings, but if you follow all of those links, you'll be lead to more links within the stories. In a nutshell, we (U.S. citizens) may have to start asking for permission to travel internationally.

Plant a tree

2006-11-08T12:58:00.000-08:00

If the Myspace profile is real, the famous live music venue known as Trees is reopening in Dallas.

"It will have new owners and a new name," the profile said. "But we will keep the same standards and quality of bands. It will be better than Trees."

I'm really hoping when it says "better than Trees" that it means it will have a better staff, a staff that is nice to customers and less hoodlum in their interactions with the public.

And in other trees news, you should participate in this.

Please vote today. Please.

2006-11-07T06:54:00.000-08:00

If you haven't already voted early, please, please, please go vote today. It's not hard to do, and it only takes about 15 minutes of your time (maybe a little longer or shorter depending on where you go to vote).

Here are the polling locations for Texas:
VOTE HERE

I know people who won't date other people that don't vote. I like that rule of thumb. If you're dating someone, and he or she doesn't vote today, I suggest you break up with him or her. Seriously, do you want to really be with someone that doesn't care about his or her own country?

PLEASE GO VOTE TODAY!

Scattershot

2006-11-03T12:22:00.000-08:00

I'm 6,000 words into my novel for National Novel Writing Month. I'm writing more than the average daily word count, but the weekend is coming up, and I'm sure I'll fall behind. And no, I don't have a title or a concrete idea what the story is about. There's a story somewhere; I'm fishing it out.
Naked man arrested after pulling awl from rectum.
When a man's got to lean, a man's got to lean.

(Thanks Pope-rah!)

A short review of my trip

2006-11-01T13:23:00.000-08:00

A Roman soldier welcomed our group to York,

which is a mighty pretty city

that sells the kind of donuts I like.

Leeds welcomed us with open arms

and offered us more tantalizing treats.

Manchester, so much to answer for:

Manchester takes on life's hard questions:

Manchester...hard hitting news capital of the world:

And then I went to Liverpool. I have pictures, but Blogger appears to hate Liverpool and refuses to let me post them. Just know that I saw and entered the Cavern, visited some cool places and never once got a chance to have a Cains beer.

Scattershot

2006-10-20T12:36:00.000-07:00

We finally received another review of our latest album. This one is from Punk Planet. It's short but sweet.
Ashburne Glen - It's All Just a Dirty Game CD
Quaint sounding chamber pop that classes itself up with some nice string usage as well as what sounds like some well placed steel drums on its opener "Diseases of the Tongue." Recommended if you can find it! (MS)
The Shins' Wincing the Night Away is my favorite album of 2007 so far. Yes, I live in the future.
This is my official away message for the next week. Don't tear the place down while I'm gone.

I'm really doing it

2006-10-18T11:53:00.000-07:00

This year, I'm participating in National Novel Writing Month. I'd appreciate any story ideas you would like to send my way (via the comments section). Thank you.

Association Professionals Throughout the Ages

2006-10-17T14:47:00.000-07:00

(A cartoon version of what my magazine covers. Yippee.)

East Coast vs. West Coast

2006-10-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

After several days of having nothing I really wanted to write about, I'm now covered in all sorts of things to discuss. Should I start with what I love and hate each about two Texas gubernatorial candidates--Chris Bell and Kinky Friedman--one of which will receive my vote? Or maybe I should talk about today's winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature and how once again W.S. Merwin wasn't even placed on the radar.

Actually, I'm going to start with a show last night: Man Man and the Thermals at Hailey's in Denton.

It was a wonderful show. Man Man are really great musicians, and they know how to entertain at the same time.

The Thermals were good. I was telling the Plus One how I think they're like Pavement on speed. She disagreed; she's more of a Pavement fan than I am, so she'd know better how to compare other bands to them. Still, the lead singer's spoken-word singing style and the laid-back chord changes really reminded me of Stephen Malkmus and his crew. (I was informed by the Plus One that Pavement is really a band for smart people, Ivy Leaguers, for example. I would argue that they're more of a band for PCU students.)

I've been noticing something lately. East coast bands usually put on more entertaining shows (such as Man Man and Les Savy Fav), whereas West coast bands usually just get on stage in their raggy T-shirts and jeans and play their music (such as the Thermals). While both can be good, I'm starting to be more interested in bands who actively put some effort into entertaining an audience.

I've received crap about it before, but I'm standing my ground. If you're playing on stage to people who have paid money to see and hear you, put on a damn show for them. Entertain them. Whether that means having a light show, dressing up as animals or running through the crowd while singing, do something more than just stand there looking like you just crawled out of bed and picked up your guitar. If you want to argue that your music is an art and you shouldn't have to entertain people, then do what the Beatles did, stop playing live. Hole yourself up somewhere and just work on your music, release it and repeat the process over and over again.

There is a theory surrounding the North Texas area that bands draw larger and more enthusiastic crowds in Denton as compared to Dallas. Last night appeared to negate that idea. The crowd size was about the same as when Man Man last played in Dallas, and what's worse is that the Denton crowd were more subdued. It was strange: the left side of the audience just stood there with their arms crossed or their hands in their pockets, while the right side of the audience moved and danced and appeared to be having a great time. I never saw a marked line on the floor, but maybe all the people on the right side were from Dallas and didn't care about any sort of hipster poses.

In the end, Man Man/Entertaining an audience: 1; Hipster poses/boring disheveled bands: 0.

Hotel Porn

2006-10-11T12:35:00.000-07:00

On a recent trip to San Francisco, I passed my sick time by watching some TV. Flipping through the channels, I came across the movie selections. Adult movies was one of the catagories, so I decided to see what was available (you know, just looking at titles and movie plots); however, selecting the adult movies option yielded nothing. All adult movies were banned. Now, I didn't call the front desk to see if I needed to request access to the adult movies, because I really didn't care about watching them. Still, the idea of taking away that freedom of choice started to work itself under my skin.

A recent article on HotelChatter tackles the increasing practice of not offering adult movies in private hotel rooms.

I, for one, am deciding not to stay in Omni Hotels in the future, because of their decision to ban adult movies.

How do you, readers, feel about this topic?

Uncross your arms, jerk

2006-10-10T14:32:00.000-07:00

Look! People actually dancing at a rock concert. Granted, this was in 1981, before music snobbery overtook the minds of indie-rock fans.

(Thanks to Unfair Park.)

On purpose?

2006-10-06T14:03:00.000-07:00

Today's issue of Quick featured a questionable spread on pages 10-11.

On page 10, there's a story about the funerals of the Amish girls who were recently killed. Directly across from it on page 11 is an ad for Amish Furniture Showcase, featuring "quality, Amish-made solid wood furniture."

I'm not sure if Amish Furniture Showcase always advertises in Quick. Maybe they do, and the newspaper purposely (or ignorantly) placed the ad next to the story, or maybe they've starting advertising more to get in on all the recent Amish attention.

Probably no one else noticed the story and ad placement, because readers were probably entranced by the huge, phallic corny dog ad under the gay marriage story on the same page.

Hoff-style

2006-10-04T14:17:00.000-07:00

Take this you freaking indie metal hipsters*.

*Okay, I don't even know what an indie metal hipster really is, but from reading music blogs, I've learned it's fun to make up new names for movements and then make fun of said movement, all the in the same breath.

I may be busy,

2006-10-03T15:00:00.000-07:00

but I'm never too busy for Bollywood.

Smart reading

2006-09-28T14:02:00.000-07:00

My lack of posting is the result of 2/3 parts sick and 1/3 laziness. Usually, it's 100 percent laziness, but not this time. I actually have something to blame.

In the meantime, I did plenty of blog reading.

I Guess I'm Floating made me aware of the hot music blog news that My Old Kentucky Blog plagarized the Wikipedia Radiohead entry. Apparently, Idolator and Gerard vs. Bear called the author out on it and the music blog hype machine world gasped. I find it kind of funny that there are such huge music nerds out there that they know when Radiohead copy has been plagarized. I guess some people have memorized everything written about that band. Nerds.
We Shot JR has a well-written article about the Dallas music scene and some exciting new activity brewing under the radar (by the way, I just plagarized that line). The story is as long as most New Yorker pieces, so you might want to print it out and read it while waiting in the doctor's office.

Stonedranger says in the article, "Simply put, getting any kind of attention for doing anything new, different or even just quality is going to be a challenge around here for quite a while." This begs me to ask the question: To what level of attention do you think is warranted?

Let's take a band that We Shot JR likes as an example. Notes from the Underground is a good band, and sure, they warrant the attention given them so far, but if soccer moms starting driving down from Plano to see them because the Dallas Observer/Dallas Morning News/Fort Worth Star Telegram decided to write about them every week and praise their glories, how long do you think it would take for the people into the "underground" scene to stop coming to their shows? Probably a nano-second. Then some of those fans would start a new band, a new scene, and a new complaint that no one is paying any attention to them. I am in no way wise, but this is pretty elementary to see: That what isn't popular now, will be popular in a few months, just to be overtaken by something new over and over and over again.

In the end, it's a good article. Go read it. Please.
And there's a new blog on the block: Wizard/Ninja/Robot. Check it out. Yo.

Two things

2006-09-26T14:23:00.000-07:00

1) I may or may not have been infected with Salmonella bacteria in the last week. If it wasn't that, then it was some other bacterial infection that made me want to really get to know my toilet personally for five days.

2) At the risk of sounding like Seinfeld, I have to ask this: What is up with elderly people and their toenails? When they get older, do they lose the desire to trim them? Or are their nails so strong and their muscle strength so weak that they're unable to cut them?

Away message

2006-09-21T14:19:00.000-07:00

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Fraud

2006-09-20T14:53:00.000-07:00

Dear Person Using My Check Card Illegally,

No longer will you be able to buy gas in such places as Brooklyn, Staten Island, Philadelphia, Hartford or Jamaica, N.Y., on my dime. I hope you had as much fun stealing almost $300 from me as I had filling out several sheets of paperwork to get it back.

Sincerely,
pimplomat

The future of radio?

2006-09-18T14:13:00.000-07:00

The Dallas Observer's Robert Wilsonky reports on George Gimarc's latest radio idea: Radio SASS.

Here's a teaser to the article:

"The SASS stands for 'Short Attention Span System,' because no song in Gimarc's new format will last longer than two minutes--no, not even 'Stairway to Heaven.' Imagine your favorite song reduced to verse-chorus-verse-adios. No dickin'-around guitar solos. No wankin'-off drum solos. No nothing except the meat of the song, shorn of the gristle. In and out. Wham and bam."

As a fan of short songs, I'm curious if this idea would work. As a musician, though, I'm also concerned about the manipulation of my "art."

Still, listening to it, the format sounds fantastic.

Kicking and Screaming

2006-09-15T14:48:00.000-07:00

The Criterion Collection recently released Noah Baumbach's Kicking and Screaming on DVD.

For years, I've heard from friends and critics that this movie is great, outstanding, excellent (and several other hype words). Eric received the movie via Netflix last week, and I decided to finally watch what was supposed to be one of the best movies ever made.

Apparently, I didn't see it. What I saw was a whiny and pretentious film with four highly unlikeable main characters. On top of that was stilted writing and technical film making mistakes.

The story revolves around four recent U.S. East Coast college graduates trying to figure out what they're going to do with the rest of their lives. Maybe if I watched it right out of college, I may have enjoyed and identified with it more. However, a great film shouldn't relate to only a small cross section of society. It should appeal to everyone, no matter age, income or race.

If others that read this blog have seen this movie and have a different opinion, I'd love to read them. But in the meantime, I guess this is just another example of hype overlapping quality.

Music vent

2006-09-13T13:27:00.000-07:00

Stonedranger over at We Shot JR nicely summed up how I've been feeling recently about music.

"I've lately developed a bad habit: I tend to discount many of the things I see on MP3 blogs simply because they are, um, on MP3 blogs. At first I thought that it was just because rock music has been sucking lately, but then I realized that it is logical to feel a bit skeptical when you're dealing with a thousand mini NMEs telling you about the next band to 'save rock,' only to find out that, um, they aren't going to."

I think my problem with music lately is that I'm tired of visiting Web sites and opening up magazines and reading about the same bands over and over again. I'm sick and tired of hearing how so-and-so band is great and everyone should listen to them. I'm frustrated with listening to new bands and discovering that they're really nothing new. It's gotten to the point where I almost long for the days of pre-Internet, when radio executives chose what was good for the masses to hear--some kind of filter to separate the good from the bad.

Truthfully, though, I don't want some suit telling me what to listen to; still, I feel our society--when it comes to music--relies more on emotional criticism than intellectual criticism, that there is no longer any filter. If you look at the state of music criticism today, especially when it comes to Internet magazines and blogs, you'll notice that most every band is good (if not great) and that you should really be listening to them.

For true aesthetic appreciation there should be a balance. The best art affects your intellect and your emotions. However, bring that up to music lovers and you get pie thrown back in your face, because they claim music should be all about how it makes one feel. While the way someone feels about music is valid, it can only go so far in a true test of its lasting impression on generations of music buffs.

Okay, I'm stepping into territory that could take more hours and words than I have available right now, so I'll just end with this personal observation.

All this frustration with hype and over saturation of some bands has even leaked into my creative life. Lately, I don't feel like writing music, playing music or even going to concerts. The proliferation of music available online and around me has taken all the fun out of it.

I realize this is a phase I'm going through, but I'm having a hard time shaking it off. I'm having trouble finding the excitement of music again, and that scares me.

Expo Park film

2006-09-12T14:44:00.000-07:00

Exposition Park in Dallas is one of my favorite sections of the city. Now some people have made a short film about the area.

You can view the film here.

That's all I have today.

One more entry about Helsinki

2006-09-11T14:17:00.000-07:00

While I was visiting Helsinki, I saw a lot of people wearing different color jumpsuits. I kept thinking to myself, "They sure do look too young to be working in construction or lawn care or in jail."

On my last day there, I found out that students wear them as part of their degree groups on special days. For example, all the engineering students wear a certain color, all the math students wear another color, etc.

One of the guides on the trip wrote me the following email because I wanted to know what the literature or film students (both of my majors) wore.

"Hope you are feeling better. On your recent trip to Suomenlinna we discussed the jumpsuits that the students wear on some occasions and you asked about the colors of the literature and film students. Well, I'm afraid it turns out neither group uses them. The literature students seem to be more interested in reading books than partying and don't have a very active organization. The film students are too individualistic and artistic to use such a uniform dress code. However, happily the journalism students are neither busy studiers nor very individualistic, so they use yellow jumpsuits. The picture attachments shows what they look like."

Helsinki photos

2006-09-08T14:36:00.000-07:00

I took photos while I was in Helsinki. These are some of them.

The Helsinki Cathedral and Senate Square

A visit to Helsinki's Ice Bar

Public nudity

The Palace of Nobility's main hall

Sebelius Monument

Book thing

2006-09-07T13:57:00.000-07:00

I don't normally participate in the kind of surveys found online (e.g., Myspace) that ask all sorts of random (and sometimes silly) questions. Why? Maybe like how I don't sing solo at karaoke bars, I refuse to do them out of principle. Don't ask me which principle. I haven't gotten that far in my philosophy.

Still, scruffylooking's recent post about books enticed me. Since I love books, and since I'm procrastinating writing an article for work, I'll fill this one out. I'm not tagging anyone else for participation, but feel free to do your own on your own blog if you have one.

A book that changed my life

I'll admit it: Conversations with God by Neal Donald Walsh. Growing up Lutheran and going to church every week with my grandmother installed a lot of fears and beliefs that were holding me back in life. This book, a distillation of several different religious beliefs and philosophies, caused me to be more aware of life, what's going on around me, and how I'm ultimately in control of everything.

A book I've read more than once

Silk by Alessandro Baricco. This novella about a 19th-century silk merchant in France is one of the most poetic books I've ever read. I love the repetition, the quietness of the narration, and the ending. It's a book I recommend to anyone I can.

A book I would take with me if I were stuck on a desert island

The Best American Short Stories of the Century. There are enough stories in this collection to read one a day, and hopefully by the end of the book I'll have been rescued.

A book that made me laugh

Any story in any book by David Sedaris usually causes me to laugh.

A book that made me cry

No books have caused me to cry. Movies, yes. Books, no.

A book I wish I had written

Any book by Hermann Hesse. His constant theme of duality is of a great interest to me in all aspects of life.

A book I wish had never been written

I believe we can learn from all books, even if some in the world deem them to be bad. Still, I wouldn't mind having the hours back spent reading The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick.

A book I've been meaning to read

Have you seen my book collection?! I have a hundred books that I'm meaning to read. On deck, though, is Notable American Women by Ben Marcus as part of my 52 books a year project.

I'm currently reading

The Final Solution by Michael Chabon. I've read his The Mysteries of Pittsburgh and liked it. However, it's still too early in the book for me to comment on my feelings about this one.

Song of the Day

Busy busy

2006-09-06T12:35:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy time since my return stateside, so please forgive me for any lack of blog entries.

In the meantime, a shout out to these two new (to me) good blogs. Check 'em out when you get a chance.

Spark of Madness

and

And This is a Girl I Know

Song of the Day
Now, I'm not the biggest Sufjan Stevens fan in the world. I think that title belongs to Chris of Gorilla vs. Bear fame. Still, I admit that Stevens every now and then composes some extraordinary songs, and this song, "Sister Winter," is one of those times.

"Sister Winter" by Sufjan Stevens

It's all about the wiring

2006-09-05T14:57:00.000-07:00

Survival of the harmonious

"Mounting evidence suggests that human beings are hard-wired to appreciate music. What researchers want to know now is why our distant ancestors evolved music in the first place."
Humans "hardwired for religion"

"The battle by scientists against 'irrational' beliefs such as creationism is ultimately futile, a leading experimental psychologist said today."
Why Hemingway Is Chick-Lit

"'When women stop reading, the novel will be dead,' declared Ian McEwan in the Guardian last year. The British novelist reached this rather dire conclusion after venturing into a nearby park in an attempt to give away free novels. The result?"

Song of the Day
"Leaves and Sticks" by Romp Almighty

Helsinki, Day Four

2006-08-31T13:09:00.000-07:00

A new thing happened that has never happened to me before on a trip. I woke up sick. Aches and a sore throat and I don't want to get out of bed sick. Still, I pushed myself, visited Porvoo and Suomolina (an 18th-century fortress on an island), and even found a pharmacy where I purchased some Ibuprofen mixed with Vitamin C. By the way, is there a product in the United States that is half Ibuprofen and Vitamin C? I've never seen any if there is.

So, for my last night in Helsinki, I'm staying in, watching some Conan O'Brien, and packing my bag.

Fifth observation: Soup is hard to find. Maybe it's because it's summer, but I never did find any plain old chicken soup for sale anywhere.

Overall, it was a good trip.

Helsinki, Day Three

2006-08-30T14:28:00.000-07:00

Another day of hotel inspections. The one that appealed to me the most is the Hotel Klaus K. Just opened this year, the hotel is artsy, chic, and features three totally different themed restaurants. Check the link for more information about the place. If you're into staying at boutique hotels, I highly recommend it.

Tomorrow, I leave the city to visit Porvoo. It's a medieval town, so it should be interesting.

Fourth observation: Everyone looks like that go to Mystic Tan, if they have a tan. I noticed this in Stockholm, as well. It must be a Scandinavian trait. Or maybe they really are going to Mystic Tan. I doubt it though.

Helsinki, Day Two

2006-08-29T14:35:00.000-07:00

Today, the tourist board set up a ticket for me on a bus sightseeing tour complete with audio information. Now, I know some people think sightseeing tours are cheesy and mainly for tour groups just passing through a city; I'm usually one of those people who thinks that. However, I really enjoyed the one I took today. If I hadn't taken it, I would have missed some sites and not known the historical significance of some others. The tour wasn't really that long (90 minutes), and it included two stops for pictures. Another great thing about the bus tour was that it helped me figure out the lay of the city. If I want to go back to a site that the bus drove by, I know exactly how to get there. Now, if only the bus tour showed me where all the cool bars are, I'd really be happy.

All this wining, dining and touring comes with a price: work. For the curious, here was my schedule for today after the bus tour.

12:35 p.m. Transfer to Marina Congress Center
12:45 p.m. Inspection of Marina Congress Center
1:05 p.m. Transfer to Finlandia Hall
1:15 p.m. Inspection of Finlandia Hall
1:45 p.m. Transfer to Paasitorni Historic Conference Center
2:00 p.m. Inspection of Paasitorni Historic Conference Center
2:35 p.m. Transfer to Hilton Helsinki Strand
2:40 p.m. Inspection of Hilton Helsinki Strand
3:15 p.m. Transfer to the Palace of Nobility
3:30 p.m. Inspection of the Palace of Nobility
4:00 p.m. Transfer to hotel
6:45 p.m. Dinner at the Kulosaari Casino

Tomorrow is pretty much the same, but with more hotels and less conference centers.

Observation number three: Everyone that wears eye glasses here has cool, stylish, artsy-fartsy ones. I feel like I'm at a never-ending art show opening.

Oh, and I finally found a convenience store. It was in a mall, underground and by the bus stops. It was closed at 10 p.m., FYI.

Helsinki, Day One

2006-08-28T12:26:00.000-07:00

I'm currently in Helsinki, Finland, and I'm hungry, jet lagged, and seriously in need of some ice cream. Those who know me know my love for ice cream. I have a ferocious sweet tooth. But here in Helsinki, I've yet to come across a convenience store. I've walked all around the city center and have found several bars, design stores, McDonald's, a grocery store in the mall, etc., but not once have I walked past the equivalent of a 7-11. Maybe they're not located here in this area. Maybe I need to walk a couple a miles away from my hotel room. But I'm jet lagged and tired, and I'm just going to have to wait for some sort of pastry in the morning at the hotel breakfast buffet.

First observation of Helsinki: It reminds me of a smaller New York City, but more blonde.

Second observation: There are tons of people younger than me walking around. It's almost like walking around college again.

Another fashion question

2006-08-25T14:33:00.000-07:00

What is up with 40-50 year old men wearing Hawaiian shirts? Seriously, everywhere I turn nowadays, a guy is decked out in one, with the top button unbuttoned just enough to expose his graying chest hair. Is this the latest fad for middle-age men?

Sure, the shirt looks comfortable and loose and casual, but I can think of several other types of shirts that exhibit those qualities. Why Hawaiian? And get this: some of these men even wear them with pleats.

Hot dogs, clean sheets and Janet Reno

2006-08-23T11:31:00.000-07:00

I've been waiting awhile to document this, and I feel it's finally time to print it publicly.

This past weekend, I visited a swinger's club with the plus one. Let me just get it out the way: We did not swing with any couples. We were purely voyeurs.

The club is actually a private party. Normally, couples have to pay US$55 to enter. Our friend is dating one of the DJs, so we got in free, which made the opportunity to watch people have sex even more appealing.

Yes, people were having sex in front of others. Not on the dance floor or at the tables, but upstairs in--for lack of a better name--the sex loft. The loft had some bed cushions pushed together and some huge sofas. On the beds were couples making sweet sweet love to one another, while on the sofas, several varieties of oral sex were taking place.

What struck us as odd was the fact that there was actually no swinging going on. We expected to see group sex or at least some mid-coitus swapping. Nope. Didn't happen. Couples stuck together (no pun intended), whether eating, dancing, drinking, or fucking.

We did see three couples that we termed "the beautiful people." They were younger than us and more fit than 99.9 percent of the room. Visually, their sex acts looked hot, but we kept asking ourselves if they were really enjoying themselves. Not once did we hear a moan, scream or grunt. It was almost as if they were paid to come have sex in front of people. I guess they weren't paid to show emotion. Another couple to our left were emotional. Even though they weren't as good-looking as "the beautiful people," their sex act was much more appealing because you could tell they were into one another.

After our fill of up-close sex, we finished our beer (which we had to bring ourselves, by the way) and finished off the night at another bar, known more for its strong drinks than its libido.

Things we learned from our visit to the swinger's club:

Swingers like hot dogs. And store-bought cookies. The buffet table wasn't large, but hot dogs were well represented.

Several clean sheets were available for the beds upstairs. And they were nicely folded and held together with ribbons.

We think we saw Janet Reno dancing. Topless.

Swingers don't smile. Or like jokes about llamas fucking you in the ass.

Song of the Day
"Theme for Swingers" by The Soundtrack of Our Lives

You just knew this would happen

2006-08-22T10:53:00.000-07:00

I get to leave work early, because the air conditioner isn't working. But I leave you with this piece of news. Don't you just love human stupidity?

Live Rattlesnakes Released in Arizona Snakes on a Plane Theater
By CK Rairden
Aug 22, 2006

Two live rattlesnakes were released in an Arizona theater during a showing of the new film, 'Snakes on a Plane.' The snakes were released after the film began rolling in the dark theater at the AMC Desert Ridge multi-plex at Tatum and the 101 in north Phoenix.

The two baby diamondbacks were actually slithering around the theater while the snakes on a plane were slithering around on screen with Samuel L. Jackson.

A bit of a panic ensued, the theater was emptied and the Arizona Herpetological Association was called in to remove the snakes.

"People are carrying them in - we believe - in backpacks - and releasing them from a container," Tom Whiting of the Arizona Herpetological Association said.

Baby rattlesnakes are even more dangerous than adult diamondbacks. A report online from James Q. Jacobs notes that baby rattlesnakes are very venomous.

"They're very deadly, very, very dangerous right from the start. Babies actually will eject all of their venom, as opposed to the adults that will eject some of their venom some of the time."

Baby rattlesnakes also can't warn their victims as they do not have rattles; rattles develop after several skin 'sheddings.'

No one was bitten by either of the snakes and the baby rattlers were captured and released into the surrounding desert.

The western diamondback is one of six rattlesnake species found in the surrounding deserts of Phoenix and one of the most common snakes in Arizona.

Snake experts in the valley are suggesting that theater owners check any backpacks that are carried into the theater for containers that may carry the snakes in case any copycats try the very dangerous stunt.

"Snakes on a Plane" captured the weekend box-office title with a take of $15.2 million.

Free Energy

2006-08-21T15:00:00.000-07:00

Lately (as in today) I've become fascinated by the news that free energy may be possible.

From the Steorn Web site:

London, 18th August 2006: Steorn, an Irish technology development company, has today issued a challenge to the global scientific community to test Steorn’s free energy technology and publish the findings.

Steorn’s technology is based on the interaction of magnetic fields and allows the production of clean, free and constant energy. The technology can be applied to virtually all devices requiring energy, from cellular phones to cars.

Steorn has placed an advertisement in The Economist this week to attract the attention of the world’s leading scientists working in the field of experimental physics. From all the scientists who accept Steorn’s challenge, twelve will be invited to take part in a rigorous testing exercise to prove that Steorn’s technology creates free energy. The results will be published worldwide.

Sean McCarthy, CEO of Steorn, commented: “During the years of its development, our technology has been validated by various independent scientists and engineers. We are now seeking twelve of the most qualified and most cynical from the world’s scientific community to form an independent jury, test the technology in independent laboratories and publish their findings.

“We are under no illusions that there will be a lot of cynicism out there about our proposition, as it currently challenges one of the basic principles of physics. However, the implications of our technology go far beyond scientific curiosity: addressing many urgent global needs including security of energy supply and zero emission energy production. In order for these benefits to be achieved, we need the public validation and endorsement of the scientific community”.

“We’re playing our part in making that happen by throwing down the gauntlet with today’s announcement – now it’s over to the scientists to ensure that the real potential and benefits of our technology can be realised.”

Following the validation process, Steorn intends to license its technology to organisations within the energy sector. It will allow use of its technology royalty-free for certain purposes including water and rural electrification projects in third world countries, details to be announced later.

I signed up to receive the scientific results. If this turns out to be possible, it will rank as one of humankind's greatest discoveries. After that, scientists should work on teleporation.

Song of the Day
"Drinking Beers" by Miguel Mendez (The song is on his Myspace site; just click on his name.)

Yes, Virginia, there is a Conan

2006-08-18T14:57:00.000-07:00

In case you've been living under a rock, I'm hear to tell you that Conan the Barbarian is real. He's not made up like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Osama bin Laden, etc. It's true. I read it right here.

He was a member of the Cimmerians, an ancient nomadic people who liked to ride horses. I bet they were total bad asses.

(Thanks to Goose for the information.)

Song of the Day

Rockabye Baby!

2006-08-17T11:36:00.000-07:00

My friend, Stephen, will be the father of a child very soon (or maybe he already is; I've lost touch with him), and I now know the perfect gift for his new little human. As a huge fan of music, I'm sure Stephen will love to put his child to bed with the soothing sounds of Rockabye Baby!.

"Rockabye Baby! transforms timeless rock songs into beautiful instrumental lullabies. The soothing sounds of the glockenspiel, vibraphone, mellotoron and other instruments will lull your baby into a sweet slumber." (From the Web site)

I believe my day has just been made.

And mad props (yes, I just used the phrase "mad props"...work with me people) to my friend Cherry. She brought a delicious chocolate muffin with a candle (thanks to Dana for the idea) to my gig last night in celebration of my blog's birthday.

Song of the Day

Go listen to those Rockabye Baby sound clips, fool!

Blog Birthday

2006-08-16T11:27:00.000-07:00

Exactly one year ago today, Long Division convinced me to start a blog. Hesitant as I was at first, I now enjoy the discipline of publishing something (however lame) every day. It's like athletics for the writing brain.

And just like Long Division, I've decided to change my template for my year anniversary. I'm not particulary fond of the header, so if someone can steer me in the direction of cool header designing, I'd appreciate it.

Here are some stats from the past year about my blog and other blogs.

We Shot JR accounts for more than 18 percent of my referral Web pages.
"John Wake Cardiff" is the number one search phrase after "pimplomat." "Wet Butt" ranks kind of high, too.
Today, my latest visitor, as of 1:30 p.m. (Central Standard Time) came from Boston, Mass.

Thanks for reading my blog entries the past year. Now, where's my cake?

Song of the Day

Scattershot

2006-08-15T14:45:00.000-07:00

What's up with all this ghost riding the whip?

Tomorrow is my blog's birthday. My blog and I expect cake. Any kind is find with us, but please use real butter frosting and not that crappy whip cream stuff. Thank you.

Also tomorrow, my band is playing. If you're in the Dallas area, please come out to see us. We promise handclaps. Okay, just Josh does.

The party's crashing us

2006-08-14T15:04:00.000-07:00

Eric and I had one of our parties again. This time, the theme was Back to School. We had people bring school supplies, and we conducted an art contest. The school supplies will be donated to a needy organization. The art contest was for fun. Participates had to create art using only school supplies. Winners were awarded swank prizes.

This was the winning entry (based on one of my Myspace photos), made entirely out of construction paper by our friend Ben.

For more pictures and tomfoolery, click on this word.

Song of the Day

Greatest story ever told

2006-08-11T15:03:00.000-07:00

The girl from American Idol is staring in a movie. About herself. On Lifetime Television.

Now, you know where to find me.

Song of the Day

Question

2006-08-10T14:34:00.000-07:00

If I write a blog entry about how I have nothing to write about, does that count as an entry?

In the meantime, please read Wee Demon's article on women becoming the driving force behind the North Texas music scene.

Song of the Day
(This one's for you stonedranger. I know your love for them runs deep.)

My plan for fame is coming together nicely

2006-08-09T14:36:00.000-07:00

Twice this week, I've been featured on the Internet, and all without me dressing in ugly sweaters or TRON outfits.

First, Cindy at The Fine Line posted my mug, and now I'm featured in Quick on a story about the wine parties that Eric and I host at our house. By the way, that's Eric pouring James some wine.

Song of the Day
(Look! Internet celebrities.)

Once every couple of days?

2006-08-08T14:34:00.000-07:00

So, while I agree that men and women are wired differently, I have a hard time believing this statement:

"Thoughts about sex enter women's brains once every couple of days; for men, thoughts about sex occur every minute."

It came from this article about a new book called The Female Brain.

Seriously, female readers, do you only think about sex every couple of days? From my experience, females think about it just as much as males. Or maybe I just hanging out with the girls my parents warned me about.

Song of the Day

The point is probably moot

2006-08-07T13:12:00.000-07:00

When the We Are The 80's tour came through town on Sunday, we (the plus one and friends) couldn't pass up the chance to see and hear some retro gods--Scandal, Eddie Money, Loverboy, and the still-rocking-at-56-years-old Rick Springfield.

We arrived either at the tail end of Scandal's set or right in the middle of a three song performance, which ended with "The Warrior" and "Goodbye to You," appropriately enough. Once I heard Patty Smyth say "groovy" and "dig," I totally lost my shit.

Up next was supposed to be Loverboy. Unfortunately, their plane was delayed because of the weather, and then we were told that their lead singer was AWOL. What a letdown. I was ready to turn it loose after a long week of working for the weekend.

So, instead of lovin' every minute of it with Loverboy, we got the Money Man, Eddie Money. Let me tell you, this guy as two tickets. To what? He never said, but he told us repeatedly that he has two tickets. He also told us to slap his ass. You know, there's just not enough lead singers out there asking us to slap their asses. It's a lost art, kind of like the art of being a spokesperson.

And then the headliner, Rick Springfield. Not only did he bounce around the stage like an kid on Ritalin, he also roamed through the crowd, talking to strangers, getting them to help sing his songs. But it was one song that had us jaw dropped: "Jesus Saves (White Trash Like You)." Was this a serious song? Has dreamy Rick Springfield gone contemporary Christian on us? Surely, Jessie's girl wouldn't fall for a nice, Christian boy. She's a harlot, loving her boyfriend with her body and watching him with those eyes. In the end, we were just hoping it was a joke. Maybe Rick Springfield was making fun of himself just a little bit. Surely, someone of Dr. Drake's stature can recognize jump sharking when it's presented to him.

Song of the Day

Just because I'm introspective and I walk among the shadows, it doesn't mean I can't hear you

2006-08-03T14:10:00.000-07:00

Due to an offsite work meeting, there will be no blog entry tomorrow. Now, now, don't get upset. I know you rely heavily on my daily musings to get you through your day, and I've taken that into account. So, I leave you with this. Hope will help you put your life in perspective.

Song of the Day

No song of the day yesterday, today or tomorrow. Meh.

More like Little Miss Freaking Fantastic

2006-08-02T14:06:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was able to see a screening of
Little Miss Sunshine (thank you Angelika mailing list!). Just to get to the juice, all I'm going to say is GO SEE THIS MOVIE! In the theater. With a large crowd, if possible. Pay regular price. You should even support your local theater for showing it by purchasing some of their overpriced edibles.

The movie is directed by Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris, who are well-known for their music videos (e.g., "Tonight, Tonight" by the Smashing Pumpkins; "Wolves Lower" by R.E.M.), and they were attendance at the screening, answering audience questions and explaining the ups and downs of releasing an independent film.

The story's narrative arc pushes and pulls you along to a satisfying ending; character development is well-rounded, allowing the audience to bond with the different personalities; and the script is believable with a slight touch of farce to keep it interesting and entertaining. Finally, the soundtrack was done by Devotchka, who have released one of my favorite albums of the year.

When I first saw the preview, I didn't think the movie was going to be very good. Then I saw the preview again, and I became a little more interested. The movie delivers; for once you can believe the hype.

In other news, for a good time check out these hot (Hott?, Hawt?) new blogs:
Suck it Trebek
Wednesday Night Mexican Club

One more thing: My blog's birthday is coming up soon. I'd like to change the template in honor of it turning a year old. If anyone has any ideas or links for free, cool looking templates, please send them my way. Thanks.

MTV turns 25

2006-08-01T14:04:00.000-07:00

I remember seeing MTV for the first time in 1982. I'm not sure if the first video I saw was for "Rio" by Duran Duran or the video for "Land Down Under" by Men at Work. They both had sand in them, and I vividly remember sand. I also vividly remember being disappointed when a commercial came on. I thought cable meant no commercials.

At MTV.com, you can watch the first full hour of the channel's broadcast, commercials and all (I want the Bulk!), in celebration of their birthday.

Song of the Day

Important fashion question

2006-07-31T12:28:00.000-07:00

I may have brought this subject up before; I don't remember. But even if I had, I'm bringing it back up because the debate was never settle in a way that satisfies me.

Pleated Pants vs. Flat Fronted Pants. Last night, this issue was covered by a roomful of women and a couple of men. A guy was wearing pleated pants, and all but one woman commented on how awful pleated pants are. The men in the group didn't give two craps about if the guy's pants were pleated or flat fronted. However, when pressed about why they feel that pleated pants are awful, the women had no answer, except that they personally think they're ugly. I'm sorry, but your personal taste is a weak foundation for a debate. Please leave the stage and take your seat.

Tell me, who said that pleated pants are tantamount to the Holocaust? Did some fashion designer deem them unworthy recently? Did some hipster on Project Runway turn up his/her nose at them on an episode?

If pleated pants are so awful, why do so many guys wear them? I walk around my work building, full of lawyers and other professionals, and see nine out of 10 guys wearing pleated pants. Some of these guys are younger than me, and I'm sure most make more money than I do, so it stands to reason they're aware of modern fashion trends and are able to afford them. But they go for the pleats. Why?

I know there are some fashion Nazis that read this blog, so please whip out your best reasons for not wearing pleated pants. If they're reasonable and logical enough, I'll pass them on to the lawyers on the 13th floor.

Song of the Day

"No Children" by The Mountain Goats

Changing colors

2006-07-28T13:42:00.000-07:00

From The Charlotte Observer

Observer photo was altered improperly
Picture in Observer was in violation of accuracy standards
RICK THAMES

Accuracy is among our most sacred journalistic values. That goes for the photographs, as well as the words, that we publish.

So, it is with much regret that I inform you that the color in a photograph in Thursday's editions was inappropriately altered before it was published.

The photo, taken by Observer photographer Patrick Schneider, appeared on the front of the Local & State section. It depicted a Charlotte firefighter on a ladder, silhouetted by the light of the early morning sun.

In the original photo, the sky in the photo was brownish-gray. Enhanced with photo-editing software, the sky became a deep red and the sun took on a more distinct halo.

The Observer's photo policy states: "No colors will be altered from the original scene photographed."

Schneider said he did not intend to mislead readers, only to restore the actual color of the sky. He said the color was lost when he underexposed the photo to offset the glare of the sun.

In 2003, Schneider was reprimanded and suspended for three days without pay after editors determined he had inappropriately increased the intensity of colors and darkened backgrounds of several photos.

Because of the most recent violation of our photo policy, Schneider no longer works at the Observer.

We apologize for this misstep. Your trust is important to us. We will do all we can to ensure the integrity of all of our photos going forward.

Wow, talk about a zero tolerance policy! May your weekend be better than Schneider's.

Song of the Day

Scattershot

2006-07-27T14:16:00.000-07:00

This sweet tea sure is yum-yum good, and so are these tidbits for the day.

Every office has at least one office pest. Here's RedEye's list of some of the worst offenders. What, there's no clockwatcher on that list?
From my co-worker:
According to some accounts, people have started getting out-and-about the last few days, despite the shelling that occurs nearby. The author of a popular Lebanese blog, "Cedarseed," writes that she was astonished to see shops open this week.

"The resilience of this people will always amaze me," she writes. "Even my hairdresser was open, so I went to have a manicure." (War is no excuse to be scruffy, as all hairdressers that worked during the war can attest.) ...
Fake zombies arrested with fake weapons. Story (and photos) here.
Should I get this Corky tattoo? I don't have a tattoo yet, and damn, this looks good!

Song of the Day
"Unhinged" by The Drams

I have a foe

2006-07-26T14:11:00.000-07:00

It's an interesting time in my life. I have a foe. Someone doesn't like me or my band. I'm not sure who it is, because this person posts anonymously on blogs.

On several occasions, this person (I'm guessing it's only one person from the writing style used) has questioned my ability to criticize music, called me a douche bag, and labeled my band a piece of shit.

I wonder if it's the same person that got upset when I said I thought the Black Angels were boring live. Or, maybe it's the only friend I know that uses the term "douche bag," and he's just playing around. Or maybe it's a true, old-fashioned enemy. How exciting!

Thank you to all the people who have questioned AnonFoe's logic. His (or her) rebuttals have been quite entertaining. I can't wait for that person's next attempt at insulting me.

Song of the Day
"Negative Kid" by Kid Dakota

The Cave (1964-2004)

2006-07-25T12:01:00.000-07:00

Ian, a member of a message board that I occasionally read and post on, put up this mix over the weekend. I'm not sure if it's his creation or something he found. Either way, I'm digging the crap out of it. Sixty-three minutes of mixed and layered song bliss that you may not think will work well together. Somehow, though, they all fit into place perfectly.

It will serve as the Song of the Day, too.

The Cave

Track List
[00.00 - 03.30] 01 Nina Simone - Black is the Colour of My True Love's Hair (1966)
[00.00 - 04.50] 02 Chicago Underground Trio - Teletransportation Unit (1999)
[00.00 - 11.30] 03 Terry Riley - Poppy Nogood & the Phantom Band (1968)
[00.30 - 20.00] 04 Sylvie Courvoisier - Ianicum (2003)
[02.50 - 08.30] 05 Nico - The Falconer (1970)
[03.00 - 08.20] 06 Can - Smoke (1976)
[05.00 - 07.10] 07 Klaus Nomi - Return (1982)
[06.40 - 15.10] 08 Steve Reich - Piano Phase (1967)
[07.50 - 11.40] 09 Steve Reich - Drumming Part IV (1971)
[10.30 - 15.10] 10 23 Skidoo - Banishing (1982)
[11.20 - 15.20] 11 Jimi Hendrix - Red House (1967)
[12.20 - 15.30] 12 Pokot Witch Doctor - Chant (1975)
[14.30 - 19.20] 13 Weather Report - Morning Lake (1971)
[14.30 - 19.50] 14 Colin Newman - Fish Four (1981)
[15.10 - 18.30] 15 Radiohead - Kinetic (2001)
[16.20 - 22.30] 16 Dirty Three - Some Things I Just Don't Want to Know (2000)
[18.30 - 22.20] 17 Muddy Waters - Feel Like Going Home (1964)
[18.30 - 25.50] 18 White Noise - The Black Mass, An Electric Storm in Hell (1969)
[18.50 - 28.20] 19 Yoko Ono - Airmale (1971)
[19.30 - 31.00] 20 Irmin Schmidt - Toy Planet (1981)
[22.20 - 27.40] 21 Miles Davis - Willie Nelson (1970)
[24.30 - 43.00] 22 Mnemonists - Gyromancy 2 (1983)
[27.30 - 37.20] 23 Arthur Russell - Soon to be Innocent Fun & Let's See (1986)
[28.10 - 38.30] 24 Brian Eno - The Lost Day (1982)
[30.00 - 42.00] 25 Court Gamelan - Tedjånåtå-Ladrang Sembåwå-Ladrang Playon (1971)
[35.20 - 56.40] 26 Cluster - 21.17 (1971)
[36.30 - 41.50] 27 The Meters - Stay Away (1972)
[39.00 - 59.00] 28 Holger Czukay - Canaxis (1969)
[41.40 - 50.20] 29 Laurie Anderson - O Superman (For Massenet) (1981)
[41.40 - 52.50] 30 Robert Wyatt - Las Vegas Tengo Part I (1970)
[42.10 - 50.30] 31 Yen Marine - So Long, Youth (2004)
[42.40 - 49.30] 32 Phillip Glass - Koyaanisqatsi (1982)
[49.00 - 55.50] 33 Taureg Folk Musicians - Medicinal Chant (1988)
[49.40 - 55.20] 34 Marvin Gaye - Inner City Blues (1971)
[53.20 - 59.30] 35 Raymond Scott - Backwards Overlord (1968)
[54.20 - 58.50] 36 Wilco - This is New (2004)
[54.30 - 60.10] 37 John Coltrane - Om (1965)
[56.10 - 59.00] 38 This Heat - Not Waving (1979)
[57.50 - 62.50] 39 Zimbabwean Folk Musician - Nyamaropa yeVana Vava Mushonga (1995)
[57.50 - 63.00] 40 Slowdive - Good Day Sunshine (1993)

A tribute to classic rock

2006-07-24T13:23:00.000-07:00

From watching the movie Rock Star, I learned the difference between a tribute band and a cover band. A tribute band is one that recreates the actual moments of a band they're portraying, including the clothes, the movements, the exact way the songs were perform, etc. A cover band merely plays another band's songs, without any concern about authenticity.

Here in Dallas, we have a few tribute bands and cover bands (one of which is Boys Named Sue ... sure, they have their own songs, but I've only heard them on Myspace, never live).

Even though it amazes me with the size of the turnout to see these bands, it really shouldn't surprise me. People usually want what's safe, and they want to hear songs that bring back memories of better times.

Now, thanks to Office Pirates you too can relive those golden moments of life through 20 Classic Rock Tribute Bands.

Song of the Day
(This one is for Wee Demon.)

"Smiley Faces Hypnotize" by Gnotorious Gnarls Biggie

If this boat's arockin'...

2006-07-21T08:43:00.000-07:00

For some reason, the Hungarian tourism people failed to sell Lake Balaton to me this way when I visited. Where was my topless girl in a boat?

BUDAPEST (Reuters) - Fancy sex on a fishing boat? Then visit the Lake Balaton resort, say Hungary's authorities in a recently launched campaign aimed at attracting young people to its main lake resort.

The tourism authority is sending around an email with an internet link http://abalatoninyar.fw.hu/, leading viewers to a short cartoon film which features a young blonde woman having sex with a married man on a fishing boat on the lake.

The film, accompanied by a popular song from the 1980s, shows the tourist hiding his wedding ring while in bed with the woman. It also shows her wowing him after taking off her bra.

"The marketing campaign is aimed at selling Balaton as a travel destination primarily for the young generation," the tourism authority said in a statement.

Under communism Balaton was a popular tourist spot of Germans and east Europeans, but its popularity fell in the past few years as Hungarians choose to spend the summer abroad.

Lake Balaton is beautiful, by the way.

Song of the Day
"Budapest" by Poni Hoax
(Thanks to Interprétations Diverses for the link.)

Scattershot

2006-07-20T11:24:00.000-07:00

Just a few items today.

Apparently, I work for an industry that includes one of the sexiest U.S. jobs. According to this report, event planners tied fourth in a "sexiest jobs" poll. Number one? Firefighter, of course.
This is just sad.
Something new for you to collect from airlines.
Speaking of airlines, Love My Seat sounds so much sexier than Seat Guru.
You may feel weird after watching this:

Song of the Day

"Gasoline" by The New Year

This one's about roads

2006-07-19T12:08:00.000-07:00

"The inspiration for the product came from an accidental biscuit spillage into hot asphalt by a group of Tarmac workers on a tea break in 1995 while working on the roads around Tarmac's headquarters in Wolverhampton. The road gang, all of whom still work for Tarmac have been granted an extra tea break a day and free biscuits, for life."

The product? The answer.

And there's more.

Okay, one more.

Song of the Day

"Sheena is a Parasite" by The Horrors

Do Dallas: Expo Park Cafe

2006-07-18T13:22:00.000-07:00

For the last couple of years, the only two places to eat in Expo Park in Dallas were the Meridian Room and Crayton's. The Meridian Room is great (especially their half-off meals on Wednesday), and Crayton's was a nice fine dining experience. But fine dining in Expo Park doesn't usually work, since the area consists mainly of art galleries, bars, a couple of retail shops, and more bars. What Expo Park needed was a good cafe or diner that stayed open late, since the Meridian Room kitchen stops serving at 11 p.m.

Enter Expo Park Cafe, a new restaurant that has taken over Crayton's. While it says cafe, the food there isn't your standard cafe choices. Josh and I went there last week, expecting to order a burger and fries (or a sandwich and chips, or something cafe-ish). What we bought (and loved) was the bleu-cheese stuffed chicken wrapped with bacon, served with twice-cooked potatoes and asparagus. All of this for only $10.95. A good price for a big meal, in my opinion.

If I had remembered to grab a menu, I could tell you about all the other tasty choices available, of which there are many. But maybe it's better that way; maybe you'll find something surprisingly enjoyable like we did if you visit the place.

Expo Park Cafe is located in the Fair Park area of Dallas. Its chef is the same one that used to run the kitchen at Zubar. And if my memory is correct, it's open till 3:30 a.m. Thursday through Saturday--perfect for an after drinks dinner.

Song of the Day
"April Skies" by the Jesus & Mary Chain

What kinda great things might await us now?

2006-07-17T14:37:00.000-07:00

Please watch this video until tomorrow.

Song of the Day

I'm a douche bag

2006-07-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

Some anonymous person over at We Shot J.R. called me a douche bag in yesterday's comment section. I quote:

Anonymous said...
Good God - Is Blackheart Society really behind that fucking blog? What absolute douche bags if that is true. We already have one douche bag (Pimplomat, also in Ashburne Glen) who promotes his band on his blog.. do we really need another?

All I can say is...finally, Ashburne Glen gets written about on We Shot J.R.!

(I kid, stonedranger.)

In other news, want to buy a fake vacation? Read up.

Song of the Day
"Asshole" by Beck

Going crazy

2006-07-13T14:47:00.000-07:00

Some of my friends are going crazy over this new Gnarls Barkley CD, featuring the hit....you know..."Crazy." The blog, Music for Kids Who Can't Read Good, recently posted an entry about the song. Visit the site to read all about "The Evolution of 'Crazy'."

Song of the Day
(Go ahead, guess what it is, I dare you.)

My first book publication...kind of

2006-07-12T08:07:00.000-07:00

Several months ago, I wrote an article for Nerve.com's weekly "Sex Advice from" series. My assignment: Used Car Dealers.

I conducted all the interviews, took all the pictures, and turned in all the material. I got paid. Then I waited for it to run. And waited. And waited. I finally gave up waiting.

Last night, I decided to read Nerve.com, because I hadn't visited the site in quite a while. An ad banner pops up with a picture of one of the car dealers I interviewed, with the question, "Want sex advice from a car dealer?"

WTF?

I click on the banner, and I'm taken to this book.

So, yeah, my first book publication in a way. The Nerve.com editors didn't list any of the contributors, but if you read the "Used Car Dealer" section, just know that I fielded it.

Song of the Day
"Advice for Young Mothers to Be" by The Veils
(Thanks to Obscure Sound for the link.)

Want to go to Barcelona? For free?

2006-07-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

I just wouldn't feel right about not letting my female readers know about this wonderful opportunity for a free trip overseas.

CHICAGO, July 10 /PRNewswire/ -- Chicago bachelor Scott Tucker is making a unique internet search to find a new traveling companion to join him at the exclusive luxury "Hotel Arts" in Barcelona, Spain.

A Ritz-Carlton Group hotel, and within just 100 yards of some of the most superb beaches in Spain, the Hotel Arts is considered to be the finest hotel in Barcelona.

Tucker originally arranged the whole trip and reserved one of the best rooms in the hotel -- costing over $450.00 per night and complete with panoramic views of the Mediterranean -- as a surprise six-day birthday treat for the girl he was dating.

But she dumped him when he discovered she was cheating on him, and now Tucker has found himself faced with the prospect of either taking the trip alone or finding someone to accompany him. And he hasn't got long to do it: the trip is booked to start on July 30th.

However, Tucker is in a tight spot: the spare $4,500.00 business-class airline ticket is in the name of his original companion. And only someone with the exact same legal name can use it.

Undeterred and unwilling to let the ticket go to waste, Tucker, who recently won the Glazer-Kennedy Inner-Circle Marketer of the Year award for his work in marketing his mortgage brokerage, turned his marketing skills to bear on the problem.

And so, to find the ideal traveling companion in name as well as in nature, Tucker has set up a website and launched an on-line search that will give just one lucky lady the unique opportunity of joining him in this exclusive luxury hotel and enjoying an all- expenses-paid trip of a lifetime.

To be eligible for the search, candidates must go to the website, www.freetriptobarcelona.com, and enter their full legal name, submit a photo, tell him about themselves, and then give him one compelling reason why he should choose them above everyone else who might share the right name. All candidates must be female, single, and be 21 years of age or over.

Tucker insists the trip is platonic. He is not looking specifically for romance and wants nothing more than good company and lively conversation with someone who has a sense of adventure and fun.

When the deadline passes Tucker will take all submissions with the correct name and select the winner. His decision is final.

Scott Tucker is a mortgage broker, loan officer, and the No.1 educator in direct marketing for subprime mortgage professionals in the country. To learn more about Scott and his Spanish holiday internet giveaway, go to www.freetriptobarcelona.com.

"She dumped him when he discovered she was cheating on him." Am I missing something? Shouldn't he had dumped her?

Song of the Day
"Head Home" by Midlake
(Thanks to Red Blondehead for the link.)

They're everywhere

2006-07-10T14:09:00.000-07:00

I just returned from the trade show part of my company's big conference. Has anyone else been to a trade show before? You're walking down the aisles and people just stare at you; they desperately want to talk to someone. If you don't want to talk, don't make eye contact. I spent about two hours walking around looking at the floor. The Dallas Convention Center has a nice floor, by the way.

Maybe the local press is waiting until after the event to report on it. Still, it would have been nice to have some pre-event coverage, just to let people know what the hell is going on. Sure, the Dallas Morning News ran a small piece about it, but for all the hipsters/scenesters/cube jockeys that read the local press' blogs everyday, there was nothing, no Frontburner coverage, no Unfair Park blurb and not even a mention in the Fort Worth Star Telegram.

It's okay; the meetings industry only generates $122.3 billion a year. No need to write about 3,000 conference attendees wondering around Dallas to see if they would like to bring their groups here, along with a good chunk of that yearly revenue.

Song of the Day
"Wide Awake" by The Meeting Places

Scattershot

2006-07-07T13:47:00.000-07:00

Here are some bits and pieces for your education.

This weekend, Dallas will experience an influx of meeting planners. So, everyone that lives here, please be on your best behavior. We want these people to bring their groups to Dallas in the future. The money groups spend in the city will eventually find its way into your pocket.

A person from DFW Acoustics wrote me asking for some exposure. I'm not sure how much exposure you'll be receiving from my posting about you on this site, but readers, please check out the site. It's actually really well put together.

And then there were two Dallas character-based music blogs. Check out Bobby Ewing Dreams for an interview with my piano teacher. Go Sean!

Wee Demon is back, if you didn't know. Now, maybe we can get Candy and Nuts to come back.

This is all I have today. Next week, I'll talk about black holes, public art, and why red apples taste better than green ones.

Song of the Day
"Gem Sweater" by Leslie Hall

Shreveport was kind to us part two

2006-07-06T10:42:00.000-07:00

As as I was saying, Dirtfoot put on an incredible show that had several people dancing and singing along. I mean, who can't love a band that inspires people to dance with boxes on their heads?

The next day, we headed out to a flea market where I was tempted to buy several cheap adult movies. I decided to save my money for some pie from the famous Strawn's Eat Shop. The place is known worldwide for its delicious ice box pies. Josh and Jill dove right in, but not before taking this oh, so cutesy picture.

In the end, I believe my favorite part about Shreveport was how nice everyone was to each other. "Sweetie," "honey," and "sugar" were commonly used and never in any sexual way. At the bars, too, every sort mixed. From bikers to hippies to sorority girls, there never was a "cooler-than-thou" attitude that is often found here in Dallas. The hipsters were non-existent. Well, maybe except for this guy.

Song of the Day
"Shreveport Stomp" by Jelly Roll Morton
(Thanks to Trees Lounge for the link.)

Shreveport was kind to us

2006-07-05T13:38:00.000-07:00

Saturday, Josh and I went to Shreveport to visit our good friend, Jill. She moved back there almost a year ago, and being the procrastinators that we are, we just now got around to visiting her.

Before leaving Texas, I had Josh try some sweet tea from Golden Chick. I think I made a dent in his nonsweetteadrinking armor.

Since Josh had never visited Louisiana, we stopped to get him a souvenir shirt. I bought one, too.

Jill took us to many places and introduced us to many friendly people. We discovered that rent is really, REALLY, cheap there. We're thinking of ditching this high-price city and opening our own club in Shreveport. Not really. Okay, maybe.

We even saw a blue crawfish at her friend's house.

Here is the Municipal Memorial Auditorium, home of the famous Louisiana Hayride where several artists such as Elvis Presley, Hank Williams, Johnny Cash and George Jones got their start.

We went to a bar/club to hear a couple of bands. NOTE: DFWd bands, go play Shreveport. The citizens crave some outside of the city entertainment.

First on deck was The Peekers, a more folky version of ABBA. They had great harmonies, and I'm sure if they were located in Denton (or maybe even Dallas), all the hipsters would be falling over themselves to support them.

Next was the incredible Dirtfoot, who describe themselves as "a dose of Gypsy punk country grumble boogie." That pretty much sums it up. I tell you, this whole "world indie" genre is going to blow up big within the next year, and Dirtfoot will be there leading the charge. Imagine Man Man growing up in Louisiana; that's a good description.

(Okay, it appears I'll have to show more pictures tomorrow, since Blogger is being a bitch and not letting me upload anymore. Part II tomorrow; you've been warned.)

Song of the Day
Dirtfoot live at the Municipal performing "My Girl"

I like it when the red water comes out

2006-07-03T14:53:00.000-07:00

I'm off for the United States' birthday today and tomorrow. In celebration, I leave you with a Salad Fingers episode (thanks Carolyn!).

I feel dirty just writing this

2006-06-30T08:45:00.000-07:00

Last night, I attended the W Dallas - Victory grand opening party with my co-worker.

The W is a new, swank hotel in Dallas that strives for all the glitz and glam of west coast chic. I'd have to say it pulls it off pretty well. Or maybe it was just all the pretty people gathered in one hotel emanating their pretty energy on to every thing. Either way, the evening was fun. And I ain't just talking about the free booze and food.

Speaking of food, my co-worker and I had a sample meal at the hotel's restaurant, Craft. Now, I hear that this is a great place for food. Maybe for vegetables it is, but we found the sirloin a little too hand-and-hand with the garlic and the beef short ribs coming up short in taste. After washing out our grease-filled mouths with as much free Voss water as possible, we were rewarded with the most delicious part of the evening: warm beignets with chocolate dipping sauce.

Ok, I'm going to stop sounding like Daily Candy here and get on with what you really want to read about: celebrity spotting.

Most of the celebrities that we saw were local, and really, it was quite underwhelming. Here's the list though: Scott Murray, Desagana Diop, Rolando Blackman, Don Nelson, Ron Kirk, Blair Potter, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Ross Perot Jr. Your usual cast of Dallas Observer and D Magazine characters were there, too.

This was the most exciting part of the hotel:

I didn't need any LSD to be totally mesmerized by this light display.

At the top of the hotel is Ghostbar, which has an outdoor patio that kind of overlooks downtown Dallas. Mainly though, you're looking at a highway. Now, don't get me wrong, it's a nice highway, what with all that concrete and those orange-looking lights and those cars driving on it. I mean, damn, what a fine looking highway!

To the drinkers out there: I'm not sure if it was just last night or if it will be like this always, but the bartenders at Ghostbar were not free pouring; they were actually measuring out the amount of alcohol in my vodka & soda. However, the W's Living Room bar downstairs free poured all night, and my liver thanks you today.

One last thing about the hotel: the pool. I'm thinking not too many people will be swimming in it because it's about the size of four bathtubs. Okay, maybe five if you place them end to end. There's more room for people to lay out than there is to swim. But like most upper crust places in Dallas, the W's pool area is more about style over substance.

W Dallas - Victory has three years to entertain and pamper the jet set crowd and the born-into-money clientele before the cosmopolitan Mandarin Oriental Hotel opens right next door. You know, Dallas really can't have enough luxury hotels with sexy highway views.

Song of the Day
"Another Year" by Hotel Lights